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- Intro - Olympics Hockey Game Bet


- Jon owes the mayor of Vancouver $100 million after the U.S. hockey team loses the gold medal to Canada.
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- Senate After Dark


- The Senate needs to get Jim Bunning out of the room if it wants to pass a 30-day extension of unemployment benefits.
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- The Uninformant


- Rick Sanchez reports on the tsunami warning the way a coked-up guy at a party would explain the strength of ants.
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- The New York Crimes - David Paterson & Charles Rangel


- David Paterson is accused of abusing his office, and Charles Rangel fails to pay taxes on his rental income.
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- Anchor Management


- Megyn Kelly presents a balanced picture of the health care summit by randomly selecting four people who all think the bill is a terrible idea.
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- Leno-Palin vs. Letterman-Romney


- Sarah Palin proves she can master anything as she debuts her stand-up comedy routine on "The Tonight Show."
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- The Med Menace


- The Rapture is the ultimate Republican emergency backup plan, guaranteed to derail Obama's health care reform.
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- Tech-Talch - Chatroulette


- Jon encounters several reporters and naked, masturbating men as he explores Chatroulette.
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- The Oscars Big Moment


- The big moment at the Oscars occurred when Roger Ross Williams was interrupted while accepting his award.
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- Arabian Rights


- There are so many people John Oliver wants to thank for the success of the Iraq invasion.
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- The Hurt Docket


- Liz Cheney wants to know the identity of Justice Department lawyers who represented terror detainees.
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- Gaywatch - Virginia Edition


- Bob McDonnell issues an executive order allowing gay people to be fired, and Ken Cuccinelli says you can't be gay in college.
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- Sour Gropes


- Glenn Beck's interview with Eric Massa wasn't a total waste of time -- he got a new sign-off phrase.
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- Health Care: The Ultimate Last Final Push


- As Obama makes a final push for health care reform, Sam Bee captures the tense mood at Fox News headquarters with her camera phone.
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- The Path From Peace


- Joe Biden punishes Israel for its plans to build more settlements by showing up late to dinner with Prime Minister Netanyahu.
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- Crumbums & Fatcats


- Wyatt Cenac gets Mick Foley to demonstrate how easy it is for politicians to work both sides of the filibuster.
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- In Dodd We Trust


- Chris Dodd introduces financial reform legislation, and Jon pretends he has the same rights as a corporation.
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- Holy Sh*t


- The Catholic Church punishes Patrick Kennedy for being pro-choice, but takes 20 years to suspend a pedophile priest.
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- Health-Con1 - The Mediscarening


- John Oliver believes that the Tea Party protests against health care reform are America's very own Velvet Revolution.
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- Don't Mess With Textbooks


- Since no one knows who Oscar Romero is, the Texas school board decides not to include him in the curriculum.
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- Intro - Progressivism Is Cancer


- If you miss this important show about the cancer that is destroying America, you might die.
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- Conservative Libertarian


- Glenn Beck didn't want to have to tell you that people who believe in safety belts are killing America.
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- Health Care Slime Machine


- John Oliver, Wyatt Cenac and Aasif Mandvi report on the violence following the passage of the health care bill.
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- 2 Girls 1 GOP


- Jason Jones, Wyatt Cenac and John Oliver discuss faux lesbian bondage-themed strip clubs while sitting on top of each other.
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- Lady and the Gramps


- No matter what Sarah Palin says about John McCain, she can't help but make him look bad.
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- Tenacious O


- It's like health care reform was some kind of intestinal blockage for President Obama.
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- You're Not Helping - Harry Reid Supporters


- Supporters of Harry Reid don't agree with Tea Party protesters, so they throw eggs at their bus.
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- Fear of a Black C-SPANet


- A C-SPAN host handles a casually racist diatribe from a caller by organizing his paperwork.
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