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- Najibullah Zazi Threatens Beauty Supplies


- Suspected terrorist Najibullah Zazi threatens America's unregulated use of beauty supplies.
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- Eating the Distance - The Brad Sciullo Story


- Competitive eater Brad Sciullo wants to prove anything is possible by finishing a 15-pound hamburger called "The Belly Buster."
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- Eating the Distance - The Brad Sciullo Story Pt. 2


- Brad Sciullo's training regime of drinking, vomiting and trout prepares him to conquer "The Belly Buster."
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- Americans for Prosperity Cheer Chicago's Failure


- The conservative group, Americans for Prosperity, cheers when they hear the news of Chicago's failure to host the 2016 Olympics.
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- New Swine Flu Vaccine Drops


- The swine flu vaccine shoots straight to the top of the vaccine charts, blowing away Japanese encephalitis.
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- Formula 401: A Star Is Born


- Your baby can look like whichever celebrity Stephen impersonates while creating Formula 401: A Star Is Born.
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- Human Sacrifice Channel


- What kind of cable package does Samuel Alito have that he can watch the Human Sacrifice Channel, and why can't Stephen get it?
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- Kevin the Iranian Intern


- An Iranian nuclear scientist defects to the U.S., and Stephen introduces his new intern, Kevin.
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- Bend It Like Beck


- Stephen understands what Glenn Beck is going through when the media doubts his sincerity.
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- Happy Columbus Day


- In exchange for spices from the West Indies, Christopher Columbus gave the natives discount mattresses and smallpox.
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- Jermaine Maine Tweets Miley Cyrus Facts


- Stephen's pop star alter ego, Jermaine Maine, posts Twitter updates about Miley Cyrus' life.
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- Pat Roberts Warns Against Health Care Box Canyon


- Pat Roberts is concerned that health care reform is full of spending quicksand, cactus tax hikes and policy briar patches.
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- Yahweh or No Way - Legislation Prayers & Fake Shroud of Turin


- Special interest groups pray for issues like health care, and an Italian scientist makes a fake Shroud of Turin look like Cher with a mustache.
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- The Mayo-lution Will Not Be Televised


- Stephen responds to Miracle Whip's advertising campaign with his own extreme ad for mayo.
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- The Money Shot


- Just in case you didn't get enough of that hot stock exchange session, Stephen has the uncut version on DVD.
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- Sign Off - Stephen Unveils a New Portrait


- Stephen unveils his brand new portrait on the four-year anniversary of The Colbert Report's first episode.
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- George Will's Long Tie


- Stephen has to restore balance to the universe after George Will starts wearing long ties.
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- Job Recommendation From Stephen Colbert


- Stephen Colbert has a message about your latest job candidate.
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- Holy Water Under the Bridge - Randall Balmer


- Randall Balmer refuses to join the Catholic Church because he's suspicious of any religious group that defines itself in negative terms.
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- George W. Bush's Motivational Speech


- Stephen would have loved to attend George W. Bush's "Get Motivated" seminar, but he couldn't afford the $4.95 admission fee.
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- Big Bang Theory


- Physicists theorize that the Large Hadron Collider is being sabotaged from the future.
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- Joe Lieberman Is a True Independent


- Joe Lieberman proves he's independent of his Connecticut constituents by opposing a public option in health care reform.
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- USA Today Slams Dirigibles


- The USA Today smears the dirigible industry based on the technicality that the ships explode.
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