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- Colbert Report: Colbert Teen Talk - Voter Abstinence


- It's okay to like somebody, but you don't have to vote for him.
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- Colbert Report: Campbell's Soup Stock


- Stephen's shares of Campbell's stock are going to put him on easy street.
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- Colbert Report: Life Drawing Lesson


- There's time for one more Stephen Colbert Life Drawing lesson.
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- Colbert Report: Un-American News - Financial Edition


- Vladimir Putin's just jealous because America is winning the economic meltdown race.
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- Colbert Report: OJ Simpson Guilty


- Stephen has to get himself locked up with OJ Simpson so he can bust him out.
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- Colbert Report: The Red Lending Menace


- It is our patriotic duty to go to the local libraries, check out all the books we can, and never return them.
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- Colbert Report: Stephen's Town Hall


- Stephen and his audience rap with no biased media filter between them.
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- Colbert Report: The Second Presidential Debate


- When you cross state lines to buy fireworks, liquor and cigarettes, you can also buy health care.
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- Colbert Report: Town Hall Fashion Apology


- Stephen learns that people in small towns keep their pants on more than city folk do.
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- Colbert Report: Dismayed Stockbroker Photos


- With the economy falling this fast, we are soon going to face a shortage of dismayed stockbroker photos.
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- Colbert Report: McCain Crossword Clue


- John McCain shows up as a clue in today's New York Times crossword.
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- Colbert Report: Paul Krugman's Nobel Prize


- Paul Krugman's Nobel Prize really belongs to Bill O'Reilly.
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- Colbert Report: KFC Snacker


- Stephen pulls his money out of the stock market and buys a KFC Snacker.
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- Colbert Report: A New Portrait


- Stephen starts his fourth year by unveiling a portrait with something new.
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- Colbert Report: The Final Debate


- Stephen is ready to call it -- John McCain is going to be the next president of Fox News.
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- Colbert Report: Colin Powell Endorses Barack Obama


- The only reason Barack Obama got the endorsement is because Colin Powell is black.
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- Colbert Report: Atone Phone - The Pony Down


- Stephen cannot have a little girl thinking he's boring.
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- Colbert Report: Battle of the Gods


- Stephen gets God psyched up for his four-way cage match against Buddha, Hindu and Allah.
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- Colbert Report: Stephen Jr. Campaigns for McCain


- Stephen Jr. is in Oregon campaigning for John McCain.
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- Colbert Report: Too Much Political Knowledge


- Stephen is outraged that his viewers came in 9th for their political knowledge.
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- Colbert Report: McCain Loves the Middle Class


- What Joe the Plumber and Wendy the Waitress need is tax cuts for the wealthy and offshore drilling.
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- Colbert Report: The Palins in People Magazine


- People Magazine does its best retouching work on Sarah Palin since they made Clay Aiken's make-up look like skin.
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- Colbert Report: McCain Guarantees Victory


- John McCain has Barack Obama right where he wants him -- 10 to 15 points ahead with a huge African-American turnout.
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- Colbert Report: Canton, Ohio


- Now that Barack Obama has made Canton, Ohio important to his campaign, Stephen is forced to find it crappy.
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- Colbert Report: Obama the Socialist


- Before Barack Obama is sworn in, lick everything you own so it won't get taken.
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- Colbert Report: Ted Stevens Is Found Guilty


- Throw the book at Ted Stevens -- he has what it takes to be pardoned by President Bush.
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- Colbert Report: Was It Really That Bad? - The Great Depression


- Historians admit that, while it was a depression, it was also great.
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- Colbert Report: John McCain's Big Prank


- Stephen finally understands why the entire McCain campaign has seemed like a flaming bag of dog poop dropped on America's doorstep.
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- Colbert Report: The DaColbert Code - The Election


- Stephen doesn't believe in polls, so he predicts the election using The DaColbert Code.
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- Colbert Report: Obama Infomercial


- It's the premiere of a wonderful new series starring Barack Obama and a cast of plucky unknowns.
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