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- Colbert Report: Snow in the Studio


- Stephen questions the wisdom of his retractable dome after a Nor'easter dumps snow in the studio.
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- Colbert Report: P.K. Winsome - Defective Obama Collectibles


- P.K. Winsome refuses to apologize for his faulty Obama collectibles from an undisclosed location.
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- Colbert Report: Michael Steele Gets Served


- Maybe Michael Steele doesn't understand the rules of a rap battle.
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- Colbert Report: Beer Pong Herpes Outbreak


- Stephen knew there was a correlation between beer pong and herpes -- he just didn't know it could happen during the game.
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- Colbert Report: Guns for Roses


- Stephen doesn't like the idea of putting all these roses out on the streets with their pointy thorns.
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- Colbert Report: Stephen Becomes Scientology's Galactic Overlord


- Stephen is ahead of Xenu in the space station module votes, making him Scientology's new galactic overlord.
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- Colbert Report: Glenn Beck's War Room


- Glenn Beck believes you have a responsibility to prepare yourself for things that are never going to happen.
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- Colbert Report: Doom Bunker - Jack Jacobs and Stephen Moore


- Stephen makes up some horrific scenarios for Jack Jacobs and Stephen Moore to discuss.
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- Colbert Report: Stephen Admires Obama's Swing Set


- Stephen has to respect Barack Obama for putting together a swing set on the South Lawn.
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- Colbert Report: New Baby Abraham Carter Grosz


- Any script, teleplay or offspring generated while an employee of the Colbert Report is the intellectual property of Stephen Colbert.
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- Colbert Report: Michael Steele Rap Battle Challenge


- Michael Steele may not have seen "Eight Mile," but a key part of every rap battle is showing up to the rap battle.
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- Colbert Report: Coffee-Induced Hallucinations


- Stephen should have never bought M. Night Shyamalan coffee.
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- Colbert Report: Earmarks Abuse Ends Tomorrow


- Obama announces the end of the abuse of earmarks, and then signs an appropriations bill containing nearly 9,000 earmarks.
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- Colbert Report: Mahmoud's Non-Consensual Endorsement Deal


- If Iran is going to use Stephen to sell products he hasn't endorsed over there, he'll use Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to sell products over here.
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- Colbert Report: Stephen's Angry Mob Will Crush AIG


- The government can't stop AIG, but Stephen's mob can.
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- Colbert Report: Shout Out - The Colbert Report Overseas


- The Colbert Report is definitely going to visit our troops sometime in the near or distant future, or past.
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- Colbert Report: Colbert Aluminum - Cigar Nubs, Faux Poor & Blixseth


- Cigars get shorter, the British elite act poor, and Tim Blixseth sells his private island.
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- Colbert Report: World of Nahlej - Shmeat


- PETA funds a scientist developing meat from tissue culture.
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- Colbert Report: Predator X Discovery


- Jesus buried the bones of Predator X under the ocean 6,000 years ago to test our faith.
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- Colbert Report: Bill Posey Alligator Rumors


- Stephen demands a DNA test to determine whether Congressman Bill Posey is part alligator.
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- Colbert Report: Conservative Rap Battle - Michael Steele's Response


- In accordance with hip-hop's longstanding fairness doctrine, Stephen presents Michael Steele's rap response, remixed on behalf of Michael Steele.
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- Colbert Report: When Animals Attack Our Morals - Chimps, Lizards & Spiders


- A chimp throws rocks at Swedes, male lizards imitate females, and spiders perform miracles.
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- Colbert Report: Space Module: Colbert - Vote Now


- Don't forget to vote for NASA's space node to be named after Stephen.
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- Violence in Mexico


- Cross border drug traffic and violence could lead to the explosion of Lou Dobbs' head.
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- Space Module: Colbert - Democracy in Orbit


- Representative Chaka Fattah demands democracy in space for Stephen.
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- American Narcissism


- We need ambition, self-confidence and extreme good looks to rebuild America.
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