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- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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-
- Vodka Eyeballing
- If you think metaphorical beer goggles are bad, imagine what literal vodka goggles will make you do.
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- Vodka Eyeballing
-
- Failure to Launch - Atlantis Crew
- Stephen asks the Atlantis crew for advice on how he can prepare himself for space.
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- Failure to Launch - Atlantis Crew
-
- Up Brit Creek
- Stephen finds the villain in the hit summer series, "Grainy Footage of Leaking Underwater Oil Pipe."
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- Up Brit Creek
-
- Japan's Special Election - Kazuo Myazaki
- Stephen endorses Disembodied Japanese Robot Mouth for Japan's next prime minister and tests Kazuo Myazaki on who he thinks will win.
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- Japan's Special Election - Kazuo Myazaki
-
- Crude & Unusual
- The nuclear option isn't guaranteed to work and would violate international treaties, but it would turn the ocean floor into glass.
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- Crude & Unusual
-
- Who's Riding My Coattails Now? - iPad Suit Pocket
- While the Wall Street Journal was ignoring Stephen's contribution to men's fashion, he invented a new kind of pocket.
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- Who's Riding My Coattails Now? - iPad Suit Pocket
-
- Who's Watching the Watchdog? - Liam McCormack
- Liam McCormack admits that Consumer Reports has never tested whether or not being electrocuted by a toaster makes you immune to electricity.
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- Who's Watching the Watchdog? - Liam McCormack
-
- Oil's Well That Never Ends
- Stephen shows President Obama how to appear angry over the oil spill by ripping off his sleeves and beating up Tony Hayward.
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- Oil's Well That Never Ends
-
- Charity Begins at 11:30
- Bing offers to donate $2,500 to a charity of Stephen's choice every time he says the word "bing."
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- Charity Begins at 11:30
-
- Obama's Whoomp! There It Is Controversy
- Hawaii needs to release Obama's official government rap certificate to prove he was not a member of the Tag Team crew.
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- Obama's Whoomp! There It Is Controversy
-
- Who's Watching The Watchdog? - Consumer Reports Labs
- Stephen enters the Consumer Reports secretive test lab facility and hands out his own ratings.
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- Who's Watching The Watchdog? - Consumer Reports Labs
-
- Helen Thomas's Reputation
- Helen Thomas gets the chance to be known as the cool old lady with the record for most beef consumed in an hour.
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- Helen Thomas's Reputation
-
- Shout Out - 7th EACCS
- Stephen displays the American flag that was flown by the 7th EACCS over the skies of Afghanistan.
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- Shout Out - 7th EACCS
-
- BP Stock Sinks
- BP may be a soulless corporate giant that could kill all life on the East Coast, but why is its stock going down?
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- BP Stock Sinks
-
- Simulated Mars Mission
- Stephen competes with Russia by placing his intern, Jay, in a state-of-the-art gym locker for 519 days.
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- Simulated Mars Mission
-
- America's Strained Relationship With England
- Until America re-establishes its relationship with Great Britain, English muffins will be called freedom muffins, and Brit Hume is Free Hume.
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- America's Strained Relationship With England
-
- Smokin' Pole - The Quest For Arctic Riches
- Canada will soon become the foremost authority on caribou dung, and China purchases the world's largest icebreaker.
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- Smokin' Pole - The Quest For Arctic Riches
-
- Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Tonys & MTV Movie Awards
- "Fela!" wins at the Tonys, Rain accepts MTV's badass award, and "truthiness" gets added to the dictionary.
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- Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Tonys & MTV Movie Awards
-
- Testoster-Ruin - Hanna Rosin
- Stephen tells lesbians to stop creating good examples for our kids, microwaves his boxers and asks Hanna Rosin if men are needed anymore.
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- Testoster-Ruin - Hanna Rosin
-
- Obama's BP Oil Spill Speech
- Obama unites the country with his speech addressing the BP oil spill, and Stephen finds an alternative energy source in Devo's belongings.
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- Obama's BP Oil Spill Speech
-
- Brevity Is the Soul of Twit
- Comedy Central will give a dollar to the Gulf of America Fund every time you heroes retweet Stephen's tribute to oil-soaked birds.
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- Brevity Is the Soul of Twit
-
- Obama's Simplified BP Oil Spill Speech
- This is how you speak about the BP oil spill in the way Americans can understand: See Spot. See Spot spread. Stop, Spot, stop.
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- Obama's Simplified BP Oil Spill Speech
-
- South Carolina's 4th District Primary - Bob Inglis
- Bob Inglis should quit Congress and get a job at Olive Garden to convince the people of South Carolina he's not an incumbent.
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- South Carolina's 4th District Primary - Bob Inglis
-
- US Ties With Slovenia
- The call to disallow the US goal against Slovenia was totally unfair, and the rest of the world agrees.
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- US Ties With Slovenia
-
- Fallback Position - Astronaut
- Stephen admits to Steve Lindsey that he lashes out in zero gravity, has a spastic colon and needs a lot of time alone.
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- Fallback Position - Astronaut
-
- Joe Barton's Misconstrued Misconstruction
- Joe Barton apologizes for his misconstrued misconstruction, and pundits call the BP escrow account unconstitutional.
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- Joe Barton's Misconstrued Misconstruction
-
- Stanley McChrystal Talks To Rolling Stone
- Stanley McChrystal must have been high on Afghani heroin when he criticized the commander-in-chief in front of a Rolling Stone reporter.
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- Stanley McChrystal Talks To Rolling Stone
-
- Fallback Position - Astronaut Pt. 2
- Stephen begins his astronaut training by working in zero gravity, running on his space treadmill and test-driving moon wheels.
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- Fallback Position - Astronaut Pt. 2
-
- USA Board of Ophthalmological Freedom
- Stephen becomes a certified ophthalmologist, and Professor Buttons performs Lasik surgery on Jay.
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- USA Board of Ophthalmological Freedom
-
- US Defeats Algeria
- Under General Petraeus's command, America defeats its longtime deadly enemy, Algeria, at the World Cup.
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- US Defeats Algeria
-
- Yahweh or No Way - The Blues Brothers & Glenn Beck
- The Vatican newspaper endorses "The Blues Brothers," and Glenn Beck plans to hold a rally on the anniversary of MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech.
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- Yahweh or No Way - The Blues Brothers & Glenn Beck
-
- Prophet Glenn Beck - Father Guido Sarducci
- Father Guido Sarducci told Glenn Beck his work was wildly important at the Vatican, but he thought he was talking to Jeff Beck.
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- Prophet Glenn Beck - Father Guido Sarducci
-
- Put the Cursed Monkey Paw Down
- Whoever has the cursed monkey paw, stop wishing you could do something to help the people in the Gulf.
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- Put the Cursed Monkey Paw Down
-
- Fallback Position - Astronaut Pt. 3
- Before Stephen can land the space shuttle, he needs to know how to fly it in five words or less.
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- Fallback Position - Astronaut Pt. 3
-
- Lube Job
- Planet BP reporters tell positive oil spill stories made to look like the news so we can feel better.
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- Lube Job
-
- Rolling Stone Article on McChrystal - Michael Hastings
- Michael Hastings explains why he wrote the Rolling Stone article that eventually got General Stanley McChrystal fired.
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- Rolling Stone Article on McChrystal - Michael Hastings
-
- Supreme Court Justice Sweetness
- To protect the Second Amendment, President Obama must nominate Sweetness as the next Supreme Court justice.
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- Supreme Court Justice Sweetness
-
- Basketcase - Stephie's Knicks Hoop-De-Doo
- Stephen asks Coach Mike D'Antoni what it takes to be a Knicks player, besides athletic ability, conditioning, youth and teamwork.
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- Basketcase - Stephie's Knicks Hoop-De-Doo
-
- Basketcase - Stephie's Knicks Hoop-De-Doo Pt. 2
- Stephen needs to make one shot against Allan Houston to earn a spot on the New York Knicks team.
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- Basketcase - Stephie's Knicks Hoop-De-Doo Pt. 2
-
- Mysteries of the Ancient Unknown - King Tut's Penis
- Thousands of years of mummification probably gave King Tut a severe case of the Shrinky Dinks.
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- Mysteries of the Ancient Unknown - King Tut's Penis
-
- Cold War Update - North Korea & Russian Spies
- North Korea demands reparations from the US, and the FBI arrests 10 Russian spies raising families in the suburbs.
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- Cold War Update - North Korea & Russian Spies
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