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- Guns in National Parks


- Thanks to Tom Coburn and the NRA, campers need no longer live in fear of being carjacked by a bison.
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- Supreme Court Press


- Sonia Sotomayor's nomination sends a terrible message to all the white boys out there who dream of having their judicial reputations destroyed by the media.
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- Jim Moran vs. Viagra


- Jim Moran introduces a bill that will ban erectile dysfunction ads from running during the day.
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- Saudi Arabia Press Restrictions


- Saudi Arabia warns American journalists traveling with President Obama to only report on him, or face arrest.
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- We Have a Death Star!


- Now that America has a Death Star, Stephen works on his telekinetic choking abilities.
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- Wikipedia Bans Scientologists


- Wikipedia bans Scientologists after finding Tom Cruise's entry listing him as 5'10".
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- Operation Iraqi Stephen - Mysterious Trip


- It's not a hoax after all -- Stephen mysteriously makes his way to Baghdad, Iraq.
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- Stephen Strong: Army of Me - Basic Training


- Stephen doesn't get any special treatment when he participates in 10 full hours of basic training.
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- Operation Iraqi Stephen - John McCain


- Stephen is thrilled to bring his show to Iraq, and John McCain has a word of advice for the troops.
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- Obama Orders Stephen's Haircut - Ray Odierno


- Under direct orders from Commander-in-Chief Barack Obama, General Ray Odierno shaves Stephen's head.
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- Operation Iraqi Stephen - S.H.


- The initials carved into the ceiling and pillars of the Water Palace shouldn't stand for Saddam Hussein anymore.
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- Stephen Strong: Army of Me - Basic Training Pt. 2


- As much as Stephen doesn't want to admit it, it's time for him to graduate from basic training.
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- Operation Iraqi Stephen - Bill Clinton & AMP Energy


- Bill Clinton works tirelessly to find a cure for Stephen Colbert, and the back of Stephen's head sells ad space for AMP Energy.
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- Operation Iraqi Stephen - Golf Club & George W. Bush's Greeting


- Stephen pays homage to Bob Hope, and George W. Bush praises the troops for their courage and endurance.
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- Admiral Crunch


- Stephen identifies with strong military role models because he eats a lot of Admiral Crunch.
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- Tom Hanks Care Package


- Joe Biden requests a favor, and Tom Hanks and Stephen figure out a way to ship puppies and ice cream to the troops.
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- Operation Iraqi Stephen - Tip/Wag - Jim Webb, Home Lasers & KBR


- Jim Webb's Marine background makes it difficult thank the Army, while Stephen tips his hat to a wrinkle-blasting laser and the contractors who built his set.
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- Stephen Gets His Hair Cut


- General Raymond Odierno offered to shave Stephen's head, but Stephen wasn't taking a mere suggestion from a mere general. Good thing the Commander-in-Chief was on hand to give the order.
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- Operation Iraqi Stephen - Fallback Position - Air Force Thunderbirds


- It's going to take more than a series of eight-point rolls with the Air Force Thunderbirds to make Stephen throw up.
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- Car Shout - GM & Chrysler


- On his radio show, "Car Shout," Stephen answers questions about Chrysler's merger with Fiat and the difference between cars and phones.
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- Warm Memories of Iraq


- Stephen used the time on his long flight back from Iraq to regrow his hair, and now it's as lustrous and thick as ever.
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- Teh-Runoff


- Mir Hossein Mousavi could be the Martin Luther King of Iran -- or possibly the Vidal Sassoon.
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- Croatia's Biggest Jeans World Record


- Stephen won't let these Slavs to fashion make off with the U.S.A.'s world record for biggest pair of jeans.
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- Murder in the White House - Fly Widow Interview


- Stephen interviews the wife and 93 children of the fly that President Obama killed.
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- Stephen's Positive Obama Coverage


- Stephen proves he's fair and balanced by giving favorable news coverage of Barack Obama killing a fly.
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- Bears & Balls - Tobacco, Project Natal & Graveyard Bids


- President Obama outlaws flavored cigarettes, Microsoft introduces Project Natal, and a graveyard accepts bids.
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- Murder in the White House - Jeff Goldblum


- Jeff Goldblum demands an apology from Barack Obama for his brutal act of violence against a fly.
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- Zicam Recall


- Stephen doesn't understand why the FDA would crack down on an unregulated heavy metal that you spray in your nose and can cause permanent damage.
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- The Enemy Within - Cane Fu


- Like a danger pig rooting out fear truffles, Stephen profiles Mark Shuey, creator of the Cane Fu combat system turning America's seniors into killing machines.
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- The Smell of Freedom - Jeff Goldblum


- Jeff Goldblum stands up for Zicam because nobody can take away the sweet smell of freedom.
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- America's Health Plan-Demic


- The House Republicans' health care reform plan is practical in that it's practically three pages long and has no numbers.
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- Governor Alert - The Search for Mark Sanford


- As his first act as governor of South Carolina, Stephen calls off the search for Mark Sanford.
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- Barack Obama's Response to Iran


- Critics call for President Obama to get involved in the Iranian elections, boldly and loudly, with the fist of the Statue of Liberty.
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- Mark Sanford Does Something Interesting


- Mark Sanford releases the juicy details of his torrid affair at a press conference, putting Stephen to sleep.
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- Michael Jackson's Media Attention


- With the media focused on Michael Jackson's death, Stephen can commit unspeakable acts of depravity without anyone noticing.
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- Gay Demon on the Loose


- A gay demon was perfectly harmless inside a gay teen, but now it's on the prowl looking to inhabit a new host.
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- Commonsense Health Care Reform Infomercial


- Barack Obama promotes his health care plan on ABC, while Republicans propose their own health care reform with an infomercial.
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- Cheap Trick - Sick Man of Europe


- Jeff Goldblum enjoys Cheap Trick's performance of "Sick Man of Europe."
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- Jeff Goldblum Will Be Missed


- Jeff Goldblum interrupts Stephen's report on the death of Jeff Goldblum.
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- 4th of July Under Attack


- An environmental activist sues Seattle to suspend their 4th of July fireworks display on an abandoned gas plant.
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- Al Franken Finally Declared Senator


- The Minnesota Supreme Court rushes to declare Al Franken the winner of the Senate race after only seven months.
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- Is it Time to Care About Soccer?


- Normally Stephen wouldn't think twice about soccer, but that was before the U.S. was good at it.
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