-
- High-Definition Upgrade


- Now that Stephen is in high definition, his opinions will be crisper and his anger more saturated.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Genitalia Bomb Threat


- Terrorists will be able to fool the TSA full-body scans by designing a bomb that looks like genitalia.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- High-Definition Advertising


- High definition allows Stephen to sell ad space inside each of his now-visible facial pores.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Night of Terror - The Crapification of the American Pant-Scape


- Airport crotch screening won't be inconvenient for frequent travelers who have a government-issued photo ID of their balls.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- A Message to Standard-Definition Cable Providers


- Stephen has a special message for all the cable providers broadcasting him in standard definition.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Drag Me to Health - Ezra Klein & Linda Douglass


- Ezra Klein believes the health care bill is pretty moderate, and Linda Douglass addresses Erick Erickson.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Failure to Connect the Dots


- Stephen shows how easy it is to connect the dots to the underwear bomber on his T.G.I. Jihad's placemat.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Harry Reid's Racist Comment


- Thanks to Harry Reid's comment about Barack Obama, Stephen gets to chant the word "negro."
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Roxxxy the Sex Robot


- Inspired by 9/11, a man invents a sex robot that has touch sensors and the ability to download different personalities.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- We Are at War - Philip Glass


- Philip Glass helps Stephen show President Obama how to give a speech that is both repetitious and groundbreaking.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Game Change Gossip


- What really makes "Game Change" a page-turner is the authors don't bog it down with dead weight like sources or attribution.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Watercressgate


- Washington, DC is rocked with scandal as "Iron Chef America" lies about using vegetables from the White House garden.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Massachusetts Special Election


- The Massachusetts Senate race is the kind of national election Stephen loves -- the type that gets decided by one state.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Own a Piece of Histor-Me - Original Interview Table


- Jack up the price of Stephen's original interview table since all proceeds will go to Haiti Disaster Relief.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Onward Christian Soldiers


- Technically Jesus rifles aren't a holy war -- they're more like an armor-piercing Sunday school.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Boston Dream Guy


- Stephen owes Massachusetts an apology after voters elect Scott Brown to the Senate.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Own a Piece of Histor-Me - Legendary Interview Table


- Own the legendary interview table where Stephen was baptized by Richard Branson and tongued by Jane Fonda.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Taliban Public Relations


- Now that the Taliban has stopped cutting off ears, lips and tongues, they're appealing to a broader demo.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Obama Gets Called for Jury Duty


- Stephen's been called for jury duty a dozen times, and they never let him go when he tells them he's president.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Andre Bauer Is Not Against Animals


- Andre Bauer is not against animals -- a dog is very handy for chasing poor people off his lawn.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Own a Piece of Histor-Me - Original C-Shaped Anchor Desk


- You can own Stephen's original C-shaped anchor desk made from the finest acrylic, wood and bones of his enemies.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Hamid Karzai's Fashionable Hat


- Hamid Karzai is a constant target of assassination, but that doesn't stop him from making sure his head stands out from the crowd.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Fox News Puts James O'Keefe Into Context


- Fox News will not jump to conclusions about James O'Keefe's arrest for tampering with Mary Landrieu's phone lines.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup
-
- Stephen's State of the Union Speech


- White President Bob McDonnell connects with the average American after Barack Obama offers a floundering pre-buttal.
- Play
- Add To My Lineup