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- Barney Frank Refuses to Talk to Dining Room Table


- Barney Frank has no interest in arguing with a dining room table, but he can't stifle the voice of American furniture on Stephen's watch.
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- Dominic Philip's Book Habit


- Stephen cures Dominic Philip's reading habit by sending him an entire box of books and forcing him to read every last one of them.
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- Bears & Balls - How to Pay for Health Care


- Democrats want to pay for health care reform by taxing sodas and killing old people.
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- Movits! - Fel Del Av Garden Music Video


- The official music video for Movits!'s Fel Del Av Garden as seen performed on The Colbert Report.
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- Merry Barackmas


- Karl Marx takes gifts from Stephen to give to lazy people who don't deserve nice things.
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- Bill Clinton's Personal Appearance


- Bill Clinton frees two journalists from North Korea, but Laura Ling leaves without her delicious sandwich.
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- Human Week


- Since sharks don't kill that many people, the Discovery Channel should replace their Shark Week with Human Week.
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- Yahweh or No Way - Dinosaur Adventure Land & Black Market Kidneys


- The founder of a creationist dinosaur theme park refuses to pay taxes, President Obama may be a secret Mormon, and a Jewish man trades kidneys on the black market.
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- Movies That Are Destroying America - Summer


- "G.I. Joe" helps the French, and "Orphan" doesn't go far enough in reversing the harmful stereotype that adoption is good.
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- Back to School With Jeremih


- Chicago Public Schools officials appoint Jeremih, the guy who sings "Birthday Sex," as their new back-to-school spokesman.
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- Death Panels


- Sarah Palin and Newt Gingrich speak out against death panels even though they don't appear in the health care bill.
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- Cold War Update - Cuba & Topless Putin


- Obama stops a pro-democracy ticker, Cuba runs out of toilet paper, and Vladimir Putin goes topless on his Siberian vacation.
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- Stephen's Driving Tips via Twitter Service


- After Stephen learns how dangerous texting while driving is, he starts his new Driving Tips via Twitter service.
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- Americans Sacrifice Their iPods


- Stephen saves the environment by donating his old iPod to an endangered mountain snail.
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- Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Obama, NRA & Teen Choice Awards


- Barack Obama awards the Medal of Freedom to Sidney Poitier, the NRA recognizes Sarah Palin for gun collecting, and Joe Jonas steals Stephen's idea at the "Teen Choice Awards."
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- Playing for Change - Stand by Me


- Playing for Change, featuring Grandpa Elliott, performs "Stand by Me."
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- Glenn-Harried Glenn-Lost


- Glenn Beck didn't call President Obama a racist, and he didn't compare his health care plan to Hitler's eugenics program.
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- Sheila Jackson-Lee Takes a Phone Call


- Sheila Jackson-Lee interrupting a cancer survivor to answer her phone looks bad, but it was a very important call.
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- Obama Publishes Health Care Op-Ed


- President Obama publishing an op-ed in the New York Times on health care reform is a textbook sign of surrender.
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- Hamid Karzai Endorsement


- Hamid Karzai locks up the key human rights abusers demographic with an endorsement from warlord Abdul Rashid Dostum.
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- P.K. Winsome - Anti-Obama Collectibles


- P.K. Winsome offers authentic "Barack Obama Is Hitler" mustaches to put on any pro-Obama collectible.
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- France Bans Elephants


- France ruins Stephen's vacation plans by banning elephants from French beaches.
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