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- Cheating Death - Crash Diet Feeding Tubes & Scrotum Gel Injections


- Feeding tubes help brides drop 20 pounds in 10 days, and sperm-murdering jelly injections prove highly effective.
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- Cheating Death - Bacon Cure for Nosebleeds & Sound Wave Sterility


- Scientists find another use for lifesaving bacon, and ultrasound shuts down sperm production in rat testes.
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- Cheating Death - Chicken Pox Lollipops & Fecal Transplants


- Virus-laden pops have the taste kids love with the proven effectiveness of something licked by a stranger, and one person's poop can restore another person's good bacteria.
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- Cheating Death - Placebocisers & Vaxamalgam


- The American Council on Exercise finds that toning shoes offer no benefits, and pharmaceutical companies create two-for-one combination pills to extend their patents.
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- Cheating Death - Vaxa International, Lap-Band Surgery & Restless Leg Syndrome


- Prescott ends its proud Vaxa line, the FDA approves Lap-Band surgery for the cheerfully obese, and masturbation calms restless leg syndrome.
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- Cheating Death - Ablibalify & Bing Bongavax


- A Frenchman sues a drug company for making him a gay sex addict, and clowns increase a woman's chance of conception.
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- Cheating Death - Placebo Effect, Immortality & Wild Lynx


- A placebo treats gullible bowel syndrome, scientists find a cure for mouse infertility, and a wild lynx will increase the walking speed of elderly patients.
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- Cheating Death - Calming Meat Goggles & the iThrone


- Researchers find that the sight of red meat calms men down, and cell phones will soon be able to detect STDs.
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- Cheating Death - Tobacco Mints, Breast Milk & Hallucinogens


- Camel introduces tobacco mints, breast milk cures acne, and hallucinogens treat the elderly for end-of-life anxiety.
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- Cheating Death - Clenched Fingers & Pill Reminder


- An enzyme derived from gangrene treats clenched fingers, and an Internet-connected cap reminds you to take your pills.
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- Cheating Death - Alzheimer's, Jet Lag & Female Libido


- Cell phones may prevent Alzheimer's, the FDA approves a jet lag remedy, and a new drug boosts the female libido.
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- Cheating Death - R.J. Reynolds, Genzyme & Bionic Bottom


- R.J. Reynolds hopes to make money off of quit-smoking aids, Genzyme pills contain trash, and a man regulates his bowel movements via remote control.
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- Cheating Death - Swine Flu Scam Detector & Vaxaconda


- The Prescott Swine Flu Scam Detector exposes fake treatments, while Vaxaconda prevents kidney failure and rodent infestations.
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- Cheating Death - Snus & Placebo Effect


- Camel develops a new way to deliver smooth carcinogens without lighting up, and placebos become more effective.
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- Cheating Death - Blue M&Ms, Vitamin D & Hormones


- Blue M&Ms heal spinal injuries in rats, kids spend too much time indoors, and all women need hormones.
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- Cheating Death - Diabetes Dogs, Chocolate Milk & Swearing in Pain


- Dogs help fight diabetes, chocolate milk replaces sports drinks, and swearing after an injury alleviates pain.
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- Cheating Death - Cheerios, Soda Paralysis & Oprah's Crazy Talk


- Cheerios markets itself as a drug, soda drinkers may become paralyzed, and Oprah endorses dubious health advice.
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- Cheating Death - Sperm Sale & Colonoscopies


- A sperm bank offers a clearance sale, Canadian researchers invent the PolyPill, and veterans get dirty colonoscopies.
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- Colbert Report: Cheating Death - Pre-Natal Health


- For those who want custom babies, but can't afford designer prices, Prescott introduces the Build-A-Baby Workshop.
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- Colbert Report: Cheating Death - Lung Health


- If air with fewer particles will extend your life for five months, logically air with no particles should extend it indefinitely.
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- Colbert Report: Cheating Death - Women's Health


- Doctors solve women's hormonal problems with hormones.
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- Colbert Report: Cheating Death - Car Bacteria


- You no longer need a partner to get a venereal disease in the backseat of your car.
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- Colbert Report: Cheating Death - Swimming Safety


- Who is pooping in our pools? Stephen's guess is the elusive Poopacabra.
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- Colbert Report: Cheating Death - Liquid Launch


- Liquid Launch is a new energy drink that doesn't have one of the ingredients in rocket fuel -- it has every ingredient in rocket fuel.
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- Colbert Report: Cheating Death - Sexual Health


- A new survey reports that healthy sex should last 3 to 13 minutes, but Stephen knows better.
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- Colbert Report: Cheating Death - Surgery


- Stephen's motto is: If you can cut a steak, you can remove a gall bladder.
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- Colbert Report - Cheating Death - Sleep


- If work is interfering with your sleep, Dr. Stephen T. Colbert says sleep while you work.
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- Colbert Report - Cheating Death - Skull


- Dr. Stephen knows that the skull is just an extraneous bone, like wisdom teeth and the appendix bone.
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